Mercy me! I feel just like something the cat dragged in! We tried an experiment, this holiday season, and did a little human consuming.
Now, don't be getting the wrong idea! I'm talking about the consuming you do with those bits of fancy plastic glamour called, credit cards.
Oh, I admit, it was exciting at first. Flitting around the Net, picking up the bargains and all, but to tell you the truth, it pooped me out! Especially having to make that emergency trip to the auld sod to see my friend, Dermit.
Friend, in deed! Made me chase him over half a county before he'd loan me a pot full of his precious gold! And after me knowing him for so long, too! I had to go along with it though because no one bothered to tell me these credit cards aren't real magic! In fact, the more you wave the cunning little frauds around, the more money it costs you!
I had a devil of a time getting the gold across the Atlantic in the middle of winter. If I'd had any sense, I would've hired one of those united delivery services to bring it over in a flying truck, although I'm a bit suspicious of how they keep those monsters airborne. Ah well, I'll not be giving up the old ways over such a small inconvenience as a few snow flurries and a frosted nose. I can afford to lose a few pixels off the tip of it anyway.
If you're wondering what's the matter with Wart, he's been eating everything he can wrap a claw around ever since the holidays started. Do you think it could be the stress from his alley days, I mean, not having enough to eat and all? The poor bugger ate a whole Texas fruitcake, and a plum pudding, and then lapped up a jar of brandy butter sauce. Not to mention mixing it with the goose Foie Gras, a slab of blue cheese, and several samplings of smoked salmon. It would be a little unsettling on anyone's digestive tract, even a cat who is used to eating food with mold growing on it.
Now, I'm just going to sit here awhile and stare off, if you don't mind. I found this whole holiday experience disconcerting, to say the least. Spent every last nugget the Dermit's gold and don't feel I had much to show for it either. Do you ever get to feeling that way after a holiday? It's a kind of hollow feeling down in the pit of the stomach. I keep trying to fill it up with ginger biscuits but it hasn't done any good at all. Maybe that's Wart's problem too, worrying an emptiness that can never be filled?
Hmm, now that I think on it I know just what the problem is. Glory be! Of course, how can I be such a dunderhead? Wart, get a move on! Stop dithering around in the twilight zone or we'll miss the moment.
Now, let's see what can I put on here, so I'll look halfway presentable? What a ninny I am! We must have all caught that buyer's remorse from an overdose of compulsive indulgence. And I know only one good cure for it. Well, are you coming along then or just going to sit there looking mystified?
There now, thought I was fooling with your mind didn't you? But Phee wouldn't do such a thing, not when it comes to something as important as the quality of your life.
So, just take this as a kind of hint. There are many wonders more special and fulfilling than buying out the Malls. And one of them is old Sol's morning light show. If you begin getting up and watching from the first day of the New Year, there will be 364 marvels to follow, each one a colorful and unique gift, and all of them free, courtesy of the Universe.
HAVE A WONDERFUL YEAR!